When you're fast asleep
by Lossie
Summary: "He is filling her simple plain life with so much happiness, she would like to return the favour, even if she doesn't quite know how, since he can't actually hear her." Two-shot, post-manga AU
1. Part 1

**A/N:** Part one of a two-shot inspired by three prompts from midoriland's sasusaku marathon (days 17,18 and 19 - "Chapter 697", "It was fate" and "Bonds"). I considered posting it in "The Marathon", which is a collective story for all the sasusaku-marathon-related fanfictions (check it out!), but since it's a two-shot, I think it deserves its own place.  
>I will try to publish part 2, sometime next week (I still need to finish some other things, so please, be patient).<br>It's a wild ride, I warn you, but I hope you'll like it! ;)  
>Enjoy!<p>

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><p><strong>WHEN YOU'RE FAST ASLEEP<strong>_**  
><strong>_

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><p><em>Summary<em>: "He is filling her simple plain life with so much happiness, she would like to return the favour, even if she doesn't quite know how, since he can't actually hear her." Sakura's POV, post-manga AU_  
>Rating<em>: K+  
><em>Genre<em>: Romance/Sprititual/Angst  
><em>Warnings<em>: none****  
><strong>**

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><p><strong>Part 1: Sleeping Beauty<br>**"_Every time I close my eyes _  
><em>It's like a dark paradise<em>  
><em>No one compares to you <em>  
><em>I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side<em>"  
>Lana Del Rey, "Dark paradise"<p>

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><p>The house she currently lives in is quiet.<p>

It always is.

Maybe because she lives there alone, all by herself, or maybe because it is empty, save for that one old couch in the living room. For some reason it doesn't unsettle her, even though she knows it should. The house seems somehow familiar with its white walls, wooden floors and many, many rooms. It's good since she can't remember much else.

She knows her name is Sakura, like cherry blossoms on the first day of spring, but it's not clear if it's her real name. It wouldn't be the first time she had imagined things about herself or dreamt them up. Her mind, for some reason, attempts to remember even when she had already given up on trying. The will of her subconsciousness is apparently stronger than had even thought possible.

The thing is she doesn't know anything for sure – she doesn't know if her name is real, she doesn't know if she ever had a name and she doesn't know if she had a surname.

She doesn't know a lot about herself.

Her hair is pink and long. The colour is very unusual – even she knows it, as disoriented as she is – and it leaves her wondering if it was an effect of some sort of genetic defect or maybe one of her parents had had pink hair as well.

Did she even have parents?

The thought enters her mind sometimes. For some reason, every time she can't remember something seemingly so simple, it makes her really sad. What type of person she must be to not remember her own parents?

She knows deep down that she wasn't an orphan before ending up in this strange house.

Just like she knows that her eyes are green, even though there are no mirrors in here so she couldn't have seen them. But she is sure they are green – like fresh grass – and so vivid people used to compliment them all the time.

Things seem to just be in her head. The fuzzy memories of days in Before she keeps dreaming about, but can't recall after waking up.

Her life is very strange.

Then there's also the voice.

It speaks to her everyday and she awaits it, because when the voice speaks, she doesn't feel so lonely. She remembers it, which is kind of amazing, considering how bad her memory is, and she also knows it belongs to a man.

She first saw him on the street of her home village not long after she started attending the Academy. What she studied there is a mystery to her, but it doesn't really matter, she supposed. She's pretty sure she was there before him, standing next to someone near the fruit stand and trying to stay invisible, but she can be wrong. It's not as if she was looking for him. Even though she recognized him the moment she spotted him, she wasn't there because she stalked him or anything. She was just out shopping on the ever-busy market street. It was pure coincidence. The details are a bit burry after that. For example, Sakura remembers that they were looking at each other and that his eyes are beautiful and obsidian black in colour, but she doesn't remember if they ever talked, yet she knows his voice.

She knows it so well it sometimes scares her.

It's as if there was more to them, far more than stolen glances in a crowded market street. It doesn't make any sense, but she is used to it by now. Nothing makes much sense these days, especially not those crazy things that go through her head without even trying to present themselves in some semblance of order or at least in full, not in chopped pieces and sharp fragments that leave her incredibly confused every single time they flash before her eyes . Sometimes she thinks it's good. It doesn't look as if her life before this was an exciting or good one, if the glimpses of feelings that grip her heart so strong she is choking are anything to go by.

Maybe that's why she waits for this mysterious man she knows from somewhere – because he seems like the only good thing that had ever happened to her. She can tell he is not a bad person. She doesn't remember how he looks like, except for his pretty eyes, but his voice is full of truth and sounds so nice, so warm that it's simply impossible. It's rough and deep, and she doesn't understand a word of what she says, but it still makes her feel all sorts of good things.

There are also times when he sounds sad.

It's not very often, but it happens and Sakura would like to know what makes him sad. He is filling her simple plain life with so much happiness, she would like to return the favour, even if she doesn't quite know how, since he can't actually hear her.

-o-o-o-

She doesn't do much when he is not there. Mostly she just wanders around the house with little to no purpose. At the very beginning she had been looking for a way out, but she quickly learnt that there was none. Every and each door lead to a room with a boarded-up window. They all looked and smelt the same. They were probably just the same one room, though she couldn't really understand how it was possible. Only the living room looked different. She noticed it the very first day and she still doesn't know the reason behind it. There are many things she doesn't know or understand nowadays, so it's okay. She became strangely numb while living in this house. Nothing seems to bother her much. She should be freaking out by now, both from the complete lack of knowledge about this place and because there is obviously something wrong with her, but she isn't. One day she realizes she doesn't even know how long has she been here – for how many days, weeks or months.

She can't remember what made her come here in the first place as well.

There are only pieces of something she can't name. She gets these flashes of colour or someone calling her name, but she thinks it isn't the voice. It is someone else. It really confuses her sometimes.

There are bright lights, the maddening song of thousand chirping birds, the sensation of something going through her – they are all quite vivid in her mind.

And then she is falling.

She dreams about those things on most nights.

She remembers that she knows how it feels to fall.

Sakura had fallen many times in her lifetime – down the stairs, from the ladder, from grace, from favour, out of the bed and even out of her very own window that one time when she got it into her head that it's a good idea to wash it in the middle of January and she slipped on the frozen windowsill.

Above all else, though, she fell in love and it was probably the most painful fall of her life.

Anyhow, by now she was at least a master in the art of falling.

She knows the lightheaded sensation and the gut-wrecking feeling of utter helplessness that accompanies the fall itself. She had done it enough times to be an expert in landing on all fours, but she isn't sure it'll be the case this time around, because on her better days, she can recall actual memories. Even if they are too messed up for her to put them in order.

Everything hurt. The world was spinning around, faster and faster, and then it stopped suddenly. She woke up on the living room couch.

That's maybe the strangest thing – the couch.

How can you fall for so long and then end up on the couch? It doesn't make sense. Nothing does. And when she starts thinking about it, her head starts to hurt so much, she is forced to stop.

She screams, but no sound comes out, so she just keeps screaming until there is no strength left in her and she collapses.

Right after there are always blank pages she can't fill, but she doesn't dream and it's always a better alternative to nightmares, isn't it?

-o-o-o-

One day her mysterious visitor doesn't come.

She waits for him for hours, but it seems even he can't stay with her forever. The betrayal burns deep and it hurts to think that she will be all alone again, just like she was before the man appeared in her life.

That day is also the first one when she hears other voices.

They are familiar, but she still hides from them in the corridor. She can hear them well from there and it somehow seems safer to stay away. She sits on the floor and listens, but the words are too hazy. All she gets is that they are worried. She really wants to know why.

The first voice belongs to a woman. There's an image floating to the surface of her consciousness – of blond her and hazel eyes, and strength not many can match – but it's not really helpful.

Then there's the second voice, which she is sure belongs to a man. It reminds her of sun, carefree laughter and unbreakable bonds. It's a voice that belongs to a dear friend. A tear slides down her cheek when she realizes she can't remember his name.

The last two voices belong to a man and a woman. They don't talk much, but those few words they've spoken make her think about home.

Do those voices belong to her parents?

She doesn't know. She doesn't remember.

It's all too much.

She wants to cover her ears, but before she can do it, the voices leave.

All she has now is silence.

She waits and waits, still on the floor, with her knees drawn up to her chest. She squeezes her eyes shut and dreams that he is there, and that she is not alone anymore. She wakes up with a start and it's true – he is back. She is so happy that she runs to the living room window and she leans back against it. Her smiles grows as she listens to him.

And then, for the first time, she can understand what he says.

"They say that you aren't going to wake up." There's something in his voice that lets her know he doesn't agree with them. Of course he shouldn't. She is awake, right? "I don't know what to think. Tsunade talks about letting you go, because it's been almost two years, but I... Fuck it, I can't, you know? I can't let you just disappear. I've found you, Sakura. I've finally found you and..."

He stops midsentence, but she doesn't care. His words make her break inside. She is crying – not with soundless single tears, but properly – and she wants to reach out to him, and take away the sadness from his voice, take it away from his heart and from his soul, and make him better.

"_If I could have taken all your pain onto myself to comfort you_..."

Her eyes open wide when those words reverberate through her mind along with a memory of a man walking away that is as clear as those four falls surrounding her.

"... _I would have_."

Something, either in his words or in her crazy mind, must have triggered the memory to show itself. The pain she feels in association with it is almost unbearable, but she is still happy, because she remembers something and it's a good sign.

Maybe no one will have to let her go if she is able to remember? Maybe if she remembers more, she can leave this place? Maybe, maybe, maybe.

"Wake up, Sakura. Wake up," the man says in a somewhat broken voice. "Please, wake up."

She wants to. Kami-sama only knows how much she wants to listen to him and just wake up.

She is on her feet in a blink of an eye. Her legs carry her out of the living room and down the hall. She is running, pushing herself to her limits as she once again opens door after door in a futile attempt to free herself from the clutches of this mad house.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up..."

She hears his voice in her head, repeating those two words like a mantra. Over and over again.

Finally, after what feels like hours, she realizes it's not working. She can still hear him as she makes her way back into the living room, dragging her weary body with those last few remains of determination she has left. When she reaches her destination, she collapses onto the ground with her back to the boarded-up window. Exhaustion settles into her bones and her eyes flutter as she cries quietly in resignation.

Then she feels something.

It takes her a moment to realize that he is kissing her.

First his lips touch her forehead. They brush against it softly, barely there at all. They travel to her cheeks and he kisses each of them, lingering slightly and whispering his two-word mantra as he goes. Then he kisses her eyelids in the same manner he kissed her forehead.

And then, after a brief moment of hesitation, he kisses her lips.

-o-o-o-

Waking up from such a long dream is difficult.

Her vision is blurry, her throat burns and her muscles protest when she sits up.

"Where am I?" She asks in a voice that doesn't sound like it belongs to her. It's too rough and so dry that every letter feels like it's scrapping against the inside of her throat with sand paper before it escapes through her mouth.

A glass of water appears in front of her eyes. She accepts it gratefully, taking small sips as her vision clears completely.

His eyes are the first thing she truly sees.

They are the same obsidian-black she remembers. His eyelashes are long and cast shadows onto his cheekbones, sharper than they have been when she saw him last. He seems exhausted. By what, she doesn't know, but she can make an educated guess.

"Sasuke..."

He blinks and she observes in fascination as twin lines of light travel down his face.

"I'm so sorry...," he whispers.

Sakura knows what he is apologizing for.

She can finally remember.

She sees flashes of colour and someone is calling her name. It's not Sasuke. The voice belongs to someone else. It's all sun, carefree laughter and unbreakable bonds, and it's filled with anguish. She knows now that it's Naruto's voice.

There are bright lights as she runs to the two figures fighting by the shore. She hears the maddening song of thousand chirping birds as Sasuke prepares for his last attack and she sees his hand as it moves for the kill. It happens so fast she can't really tell what exactly happened, but there's a sensation of something going through her and she knows it's Sasuke's hand that had pierced her chest .

Everything is still vivid in her mind.

And then she is falling into the darkness.

Somehow she has survived and she gets a feeling it has something to do with the man sitting in front of her, even though he was the one who had almost killed her in the first place.

"It's okay," she says with a small smile as she places the now empty glass on the left side of her bed. "I'm not angry."

"I'm so sorry...," he repeats as he takes her hands into his and lowers his head to kiss them. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know." She frees her hands from his grasp and brings them to his face, wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "And I forgive you."

Sasuke looks up at her.

Sakura smiles.

All is well.


	2. Part 2

**A/N: **It took me longer to write, because I'm ill. Hopefully the illness will go away soon, so I can do stuff without feeling like I'm about to die… :/  
>It was actually quite a challenge to write for a completely different reason as well - Sasuke's POV, especially in this particular case, is very difficult to pull off and yet I was still able to make it around 1.5 longer than part 1 (don't ask me how! :o)…<strong><br>**I know that the story isn't canon (I've started writing it right after chapter 697, so it's pretty obvious), but I still hope you'll enjoy it!  
>Please, feel free to let me know what you think! I worked so hard on this thing, it would be amazing to hear if it's good or bad (and why)! :)<strong><br>**Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Part 2: Prince Charming<br>**"_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,_  
><em>And all this devotion was rushing out of me,<em>  
><em>And the crushes are heaven for a sinner like me,<em>  
><em>But the arms of the ocean delivered me<em>"  
>Florence and the Machine, "Never let me go"<p>

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><p>Some people say that there are things in life nobody can control. When Fate takes matters into her own hands and pulls on the strings of destiny, people are hopeless – nothing can be done to stop the events from happening.<p>

Sasuke doesn't believe in such things.

He did, once upon a time when everything was much simpler than it is now, but those times are long gone. People make choices, many different ones, every day and even their sporadic indecisiveness is a choice, because when you refuse to act, someone else will.

There's no such thing as Fate. He sincerely doubts there's any kind of higher power at all on most days, to be honest. If someone is indeed looking over mankind, why would he or she let so many bad things happen to good innocent people? And if he or she does exist and those things happen anyway, then what's the point of praying to them?

For the most part he believes that everyone is the maker of their own destiny. It's simple, really: a person chooses a path, follows it and pays for his or hers mistakes along the way.

Experience tells him that it's the bitter truth.

Then again, he had been wrong before.

He watches, horrified beyond belief, as Sakura covers Naruto with her own body.

He knows as he moves closer to them that he won't be able to stop in time. His momentum is too big for any kind of evasion.

She probably knows it too.

He feels it when his hand makes contact with her chest and then when it goes right through it, like a sharp knife through butter, snapping her bones and tearing her flesh apart along the way.

Someone is screaming.

_Naruto_, his mind supplies. He can't see him, but he knows that his friend is crying. There's just something in his voice, so raw and anguished, that makes it obvious almost instantly.

Sasuke, for his part, is too numb to do anything, but look.

Sakura is hanging off his arm like a ragdoll. Her lips are frozen in a bloody smile, even though there's nothing to smile about. Her eyes are dull and lifeless, but he feels her gaze on him all the same. Those green eyes of hers, looking at him even in death, terrify him.

After a long moment of stagnation, she starts to tremble and he realizes it's because of him – because he is shaking violently and because his hand is still in her chest.

He pulls his hand out of her as fast as he can and when he is done, and holding her to him tightly, he collapses into the water. He tightens his hold on her to the point where there's no space between them and starts to rock back and forth. Then back and forth again. And again. And again.

"No, no, no, no...," he mumbles as hot tears slide down his face and disappear in her hair. "This can't be happening..."

She was supposed to be safe. That's why he had put her under the genjutsu in the first place – so she could stay away from his and Naruto's fight, so she could be saved before she decided to stop them.

All of it, all the trouble of casting that technique and distancing himself from her yet again, were for naught, it seems.

There is no Fate and there is no god, but Sasuke also refuses to believe that it is the path Sakura has chosen for herself.

-o-o-o-

He doesn't let go of her.

Not when he releases the Tailed Beasts from his genjutsu. Not when he and Naruto join their marked hands to free those still under the influence of Infinite Tsukuyomi. Not when he stands up and moves to the patch of ground near the shore. Not when Naruto goes away to fetch Kakashi and Tsunade.

He simply sits there, now completely motionless, with his arms around her body and tries to make sense of what has happened. With his nose buried in her pink hair that still smell faintly of flowers and his eyes shut so tightly that all he sees are brightly-coloured dots, he awaits for something. He doesn't even know what exactly.

Then, completely out of nowhere, he remembers something.

Without much thought, he lays Sakura on the ground in front of him and puts his hands over the gaping hole in her chest. Eyes still closed, he gathers the last threads of chakra he has left and carefully pushes them into the wound, just like he had seen both Kabuto and then Sakura herself do on multiple occasions. The memories are foggy and barely there, but with his new abilities, it's not too hard to remember after a moment of concentration.

Nothing happens for a while. He doesn't dare to open his eyes, in fear that he will lose focus, but he can't feel any change. He strengthens the stream of chakra and he almost jumps in shock when her heart flutters under his fingers and then starts to beat again. It's not very strong – hardly there at all – but it's enough to give him hope.

He holds the technique as long as he can before all strength leaves him and he collapses onto the ground next to Sakura, one of his arms wrapped protectively around her.

He fights to stay conscious, but he is too exhausted and soon enough there's nothing he can do.

Darkness falls around him

Before it consumes him completely, he hears voices approaching.

One of them belongs to Naruto.

He smiles.

-o-o-o-

Thankfully, Sasuke misses almost all of the after war commotion.

He is bed-ridden after what Tsunade refers to as one of the stupidest stunts in the history of medical ninjutsu. Naruto visits him every day, along with Kakashi and some other people, and talks about everything he can think of, which, admittedly, is a lot. Sasuke usually falls asleep half-way through those never-ending monologues, but Naruto doesn't seem to mind, Kakashi is too busy reading to bother and anyone else probably doesn't really care.

On the rare occasions that he is alone while awake, he thinks about Sakura.

He knows that she is alive, but she is in coma and nobody really knows when she will wake up. It's more of "if" than "when", really. Then there's also the matter of what state she will be in the best and the worst case scenarios – the best being she is completely fine and the worst being she stays in a vegetative state for the rest of her life. He hasn't been able to see her yet, which makes him worry more than he probably should. Somehow he feels that seeing her would bring him some semblance of peace, though the reason behind said feeling is very unclear. Not that feelings in general make much sense to him.

Other than that, nobody seems to be angry at him. Tsunade did punch him in the face when he had first woken up two days after the entire ordeal, but she had healed him right away and then thanked him for saving Sakura, even though her injury was his fault in the first place.

Not for the first time he thinks that he is surrounded by very strange people. He has trouble understanding why nobody comes rushing through the entrance of his tent to kill him for what he had done.

Is it really so easy to forgive, even someone so broken and twisted as him?

He doesn't have an answer to this question and he doesn't really know if he wants to have one.

It's on a normal day when Naruto brings with him someone special.

"He wanted to talk with you," he says as a way of explanation before leaving Sasuke alone with who he can guess is Sakura's father.

The man is probably in his mid-fifties. His pink hair are turning grey, there are many laughing lines marking the skin around his mouth and eyes, and on his slightly too big forehead. He smiles as he sits down on a chair next to Sasuke's bed. It's quite obvious just how exhausted he is after what has surely been a very long journey. His face is pale and there are shadows under his eyes that indicate many sleepless nights. Wearing a worn-down standard jounin uniform, he looks like someone who has experienced too many horrible things in life to even count, but there's also undeniable strength in the firm set of his jaw and in his light blue eyes.

Sakura resembles her father in many ways, he thinks as he observes him, waiting for something to happen.

"Naruto has told me a lot about you," the man says, still smiling. "I'm Haruno Kizashi, Sakura's father. I don't think you remember me, do you?"

Sasuke shakes his head and Kizashi laughs.

"Yeah. Thought so."

They are quiet for a moment.

"Naruto said that you wanted to talk?" It's not really a question, but Sasuke is nervous and doesn't really know how to react to the friendliness of this man who has every right to hate him.

"Aa. Yes, yes." Kizashi nods and relaxes in his seat. "Tsunade-sama wrote me a letter a few days ago. I was done escorting the daimyo back to his palace, so I was able to come here right away. She didn't explain what has happened, but I knew that there was something wrong straight away. When I got there, Naruto was the first person to great me. He knew I was coming and took it upon himself to explain the situation to me. I can't say I wasn't expecting something like this. Sakura is such a troublemaker... Always doing something irrational, that girl. But it's okay. She saved you and Naruto, and you saved her, so I guess it was all for the better, wasn't it?"

Sasuke is speechless as he looks at Kizashi with wide eyes, unable to form any sort of response to what he just heard, so instead of trying, he remains silent and simply listens.

"I lived through a war, you know. Just like your parents and your brother. I remember the struggle of it all and how much I wanted to come home, and forget about that experience. Obviously, I never did. I tried, but it's one of those things that refuse to leave you alone. The memories of blood-soaked battlefields stay with you forever, haunting you until you can no longer stand it... It made me resign from active duty. It was too much, I think, for someone like me who has never really enjoyed killing, you know? I took a post as an Academy teacher shortly afterwards. I taught the advanced classes in chakra control and genjutsu, since those are my speciality. And that's how I met your brother.

Itachi was an exceptional student, as you probably already know. Very focused, very talented, but also very innocent. But at the time your clan wasn't a good place for people like him. Your father pushed him a lot, too hard if I'm honest, and this innocence of his disappeared shortly after he had became a genin. A shame, really. People should be able to hold onto some parts of themselves for far longer than they are usually able to. Itachi talked about you a lot. He visited me often even after graduation and simply couldn't stop talking about you! He was afraid your father would destroy you too. I wasn't a fan of your father's. Hard to tell, right? A mean man with an ugly soul, that's what he was, but he loved his family, there was no doubt about it. When the massacre happened, I knew immediately that something wasn't right, but it's not easy to question your Hokage, so I let it go. One of the first things Naruto has told me was that Itachi was on our side this entire time. I knew then that the truth must have messed you up a lot, because it messed me up and I was only his teacher..."

Sasuke swallowed thickly and looked down at his lap. His fingers were squeezing the sheets so tightly his knuckles were white. He felt ashamed of himself. His reasons were his own and they were justifiable for the most part, but they were not good excuses for his actions. He had let the darkness consume him. It was his choice at the time. Now he knows how stupid it has been. It brought him even more pain and, in the end, it has almost cost him a life of another person that is close to his heart.

A hand covers one of his. He looks up.

"Don't beat yourself over it, Sasuke." Sakura's father is completely serious now. "Things happen. Shitty things to good not-shitty people who don't deserve a horrible fate. You have had a valid reason to lash out and somehow you've still managed to pull yourself together in time. Some people never come back to themselves and most of them haven't been through hell and back, my boy."

"Is that so?" He murmurs. "I did horrible things... Things that I am not proud of. And what I wanted to do next... I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Too late for that!" Kizashi laughs and pats his hand before pulling away. "I'm not the type of guy to hold grudges. I don't even think I know how to be properly angry at someone, if I'm honest with you! Besides, I can tell that you are punishing yourself enough as it is. You don't really need anyone else to condemn you for your actions, do you?"

"I don't know," Sasuke replies honestly.

"Well, it's good you have time to figure that out, isn't it?"

They talk for a long time after that. It doesn't seem like much, especially when Kizashi launches into tales about Sakura's childhood and then talks a bit about his teaching career. When he leaves a few hours later, he promises to visit again and gives Sasuke a one-armed hug that has a lot of meaning behind it.

When Sasuke is alone again he lets himself laugh for the first time in years.

It's an honest deep sound, coming from the depths of his heart, and it's a sign that maybe it's still not too late for him.

-o-o-o-

Konoha welcomes them with cheering crowds and celebrations that last for a week.

Naruto drags him along everywhere he goes, convinced that he shouldn't be left alone, and so it takes him at least three days after officially coming back to finally visit Sakura.

If he is completely honest with himself, it's not necessarily from the lack of time, but rather the lingering fear. He does and doesn't want to see her at the same time, and it's very confusing – this indecisiveness of his which seems like such an alien concept to him. He has never been this torn in his entire life and the thought that it's all because of Sakura mystifies him completely.

What is it about her that makes him so fidgety all of a sudden?

He doesn't know.

The hospital is new, much like every other building, but it's still as unwelcoming as it has been all those years ago. The smell of antiseptics and those seemingly never-ending white corridors that create an honest-to-Kami labyrinth make him queasy, though he would never admit it out loud. He follows an old nurse to the west wing where the rooms of all the coma patients are located. The staff, as the nurse informs him, calls them "sleeping chambers" and even though it's rather cliché, he can't help but think that it fits.

It's an eerily quiet ward, with only an occasional visitor or an attending doctor passing them by. The walls here are all in pastel pinks, blues and yellows, instead of the standard white. There numerous boards hanging on them with photographs, paintings and pictures pined to them, containing best wishes for the patients, good memories their family and friends shared with them before the tragedy has happened, and wondrous visions of what they are dreaming (featuring unicorns, flowered fields and other such things). It's beautiful that people never seem to forget about their dear ones, even when there is no hope for recovery.

The memoires, especially those done by hand, are exactly the reason why this ward stands out against all the others and what makes it so very special, the thing that strikes him the most is the fact that most of them are done by children. In a shinobi village, where death starts knocking on your door very early, it's not really surprising, though it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

They make their way to room 107 without rush, as if this place requires them to slow down.

Sasuke is holding a bouquet of flowers – some daffodils, pink roses and forget-me-not that Ino said were appropriate for the occasion – and feels surprisingly self-conscious. He doesn't know why he has even decided to come. Of course, he wants to see Sakura and make sure that she is doing okay, but at the same time the perspective of seeing her like this – sleeping and unresponsive – terrifies him more than he is willing to admit. The fact that he was the one who had put her in this state to begin with doesn't help either.

They stop in front of the pain door and the nurse leaves him, saying that she will be back later. He stands there for a long moment before finally gathering his courage and entering the room.

It's not dark inside, but it's not quite as bright as he had expected either. The place is barren, safe for all the machinery, one chair, one bedside table and a bed. No pictures, no flowers, no "get better soon" postcards, no personal items and no one to accompany the sole resident of what is quite possibly the saddest hospital room he has ever seen in his lifetime.

He knows for a fact that people visit her. Kizashi, Naruto, Tsunade, Kakashi and Ino are only on the very top of the list and yet there is nothing to prove that they do.

Lingering awkwardly in the doorway, he scans the room in search of a flower vase. He spots it on the windowsill, so he makes his way over there. It's empty, as he expected, which sends him on an unplanned trip to the nearest bathroom, where he fills it with water. He comes back to Sakura's room a moment later and places the vase of the bedside table.

The flowers look really nice.

He smiles slightly as he sits on the lone chair and finally looks at Sakura.

She seems small – so very small and fragile – laying in a bed which appears too big for her, though it's not really the case. Her hair creates a pink halo around her head. Her face, eerily peaceful and so pale it's almost see-through, makes her look like a porcelain doll.

There are millions of thoughts running through his mind as he sits beside her and does nothing but observe her. He is unable to voice them out though, so for the remainder of his visit he is completely quiet.

Besides, what could he say to her anyway?

-o-o-o-

It's around the third visit when something finally snaps in him and he starts to talk. He doesn't have anything interesting to say, so for the most part he just complains about the weather, which is becoming colder as December is nearly upon them, and about Naruto, who is always a good source material for entertaining stories.

During his following visits – all the way through winter and spring – he continues to talk about things that doesn't really matter. His days are rather boring, since he is still on probation until the year is over, but there are certain parts of them that can be described as mildly entraining. Then there are various holidays, like Christmas or New Year's Eve, which he simply cannot classify as uninteresting, usually due to the company he keeps. Naruto and Kakashi are probably the most insane human beings he has ever encountered in his life and although he actually values their friendship, sometimes it seems like way too much trouble, especially when one of them decides to do something spectacularly stupid just because they can.

The days he likes to talk about the most, even though it's never easy to do so, are the ones he spends with Sakura's father.

For some reason the man had decided to keep his promise and he did visit Sasuke again. The visits didn't end there, of course, and after their return to Konoha, Kizashi appeared on Sasuke's doorstep one early afternoon to invite him to lunch.

As bizarre as it is, Sasuke appreciates the sentiment. It's been a long time since someone has tried to take care of him as a parent.

The last time he remembers was when his own parents were still alive and his mother would remind him to take his bento in the mornings. After the massacre, there was no one there to fill the post of a caregiver and, truth be told, Sasuke didn't want it anyway.

At the time, it seemed plain wrong – as if he was trying to replace his parents. Now it's just one of the strange, but pleasant things that he cherishes in his own way.

Spending time with Haruno Kizashi makes him realize why Sakura has grown to be such a good kind-hearted person. When the two of them talk or simply play shogi to pass the time, it's like all the darkness, still lurking inside him, leaves for the time being and allows him to find an ounce of happiness, which has been out of his reach for so long.

He shares those moments with Sakura, because he feels like she needs to know how thankful he is for the people she had unknowingly brought into his life.

This ritual of sorts goes on till 9th June.

The memories of his past have a particularly tight hold on him that day, because it's his aniki's first birthday since Sasuke's return to Konoha. He spends the better time of the morning at Itachi's grave, saying very little and feeling extremely out of place. When he can't handle it any longer, he simply starts walking. His legs take him down a memory lane and he visits every place that has any sort of connection with his childhood. By the end of it all he is on the verge of crying. He doesn't know how, but he ends up in Sakura's room.

That evening he shares with her the truth about the Uchiha massacre.

He starts crying somewhere in the middle of the story, but he doesn't stop until the very end.

After that day he tells her many different things, some of which he has never shared with anyone before, and it's liberating. He would have liked to tell them all to a Sakura who is conscious and can actually respond, though, and without realizing it, he starts hoping that she will wake up soon so he can do just that.

In his heart of hearts, he is already very much in love with her.

-o-o-o-

There is a period after the end of his probation when he refuses to leave Konoha for more than a couple of hours.

By that point pretty much everyone he knows and interacts with is aware of the daily visits he pays to Sakura, who still stubbornly refuses to wake up. They don't say anything, but it's quite obvious they think he is losing his mind.

Sasuke refuses to budge, though. He goes on a mission, completes it in record time, eats with someone and then goes to the hospital with a fresh bouquet of flowers, unperturbed by the pitiful glances he receives. He believes that she will wake up and it's all that really matters to him.

Fate or God, whether he actually believes in their existence or not, has put Sakura in his life for a reason. He has taken her for granted and dismissed her for many years, but now he finally understands and so he absolutely refuses to let her go. He isn't sure if he loves her and yet there's something inside of his soul that tells him his life would lose its meaning without her.

Sadly, due to unforeseen circumstances and his client's idiocy, he is forced to endure a week-long game of hide-and-seek with a bunch of thieves that are surprisingly good at hiding not long before the second anniversary of the end of the Fourth Shinobi War.

When he finally arrives back to Konoha, tried and in a very unwelcoming mood, Naruto informs him that Tsunade has discussed the possibility of letting Sakura go with the Harunos, since Sakura's condition isn't improving and there is very little to no sign of brain activity.

He is beyond furious and incredibly sad at the same time, which causes his sharingan and rinnegan to turn on and off rapidly. He makes his way straight to the hospital without even bothering to stop by his apartment to change or take a shower. When he arrives to Sakura's room, he moves the chair as close to her bed as possible and takes her hands in his, squeezing them lightly to let her know that he is here just like he had done many times before.

"They say that you aren't going to wake up," he murmurs. "I don't know what to think. Tsunade talks about letting you go, because it's been almost two years, but I... Fuck it, I can't, you know? I can't let you just disappear. I've found you, Sakura. I've finally found you and..."

The realization strikes him then.

He loves her.

He truly loves her and he is going to lose her forever.

He is shaking, just like he had been on that fateful day almost two years ago, and his voice doesn't sound familiar when he starts to repeat "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" over and over again. It doesn't make any difference, but he still tries it anyway. After what feels like hours, he finally gives up. He brings her hands to his mouth and whispers a silent prayer that his mother has taught him a long time ago before kissing the palms of her hands and laying them back on the bed.

He stands up and bends down, and lays a delicate kiss on Sakura's forehead, right on her Yin seal. Then he moves to her cheeks and his lips brush against them as well, whispering his two-word mantra as he goes. After that he kisses her eyelids and then, finally, he hesitantly kisses her lips.

-o-o-o-

Her eyes flutter open and for a moment he is completely still, rendered motionless by the unexpected turn of events.

"Where am I?" She asks in a voice that doesn't sound like it belongs to her. He brings her a glass of water, still too dazzled to do anything.

She looks at him then and her eyes widen. For a brief moment he is afraid that she won't recognize him, but his fear is put to rest soon enough.

"Sasuke…," she says.

Without thinking, he falls onto his knees beside the bed.

"I'm so sorry…," he whispers somewhat brokenly. Words cannot express just how sorry he truly is. There no way in which he can say how thankful he is that she's okay either.

There is a long moment of silence. Sakura appears to be far away, lost in her thoughts, but then she looks at him again and there is something in her eyes that tells him right away that she remembers everything.

"It's okay," she responds as she puts down the now empty glass on the bed beside her. "I'm not angry."

"I'm so sorry...," he repeats as he takes her hands into his and lowers his head to kiss them, because even though she has forgiven him, he is not yet ready to forgive himself. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know."

She frees her hands from his grasp and brings them to his face. She moves her thumbs back and forth underneath his eyes a few time before he realizes she is wiping away his tears. He doesn't even know he has started crying.

"And I forgive you," she adds quietly.

Sasuke looks up at her.

Sakura smiles.

All is going to be well.


End file.
